Professor Mari and the Horrifying Soundtrack

Dreaming Mary is a tricky little VX Ace Lite game billed sarcastically as “story about a girl who opens doors and a man who’s very passionate about agriculture” by its creator. Mary recently sprung to popularity (though, of course, no where near to the extent of a certain foul-mouthed Pomeranian) and has been praised for its lavish art style,  deep and obvious symbolism, vocals, and story.

I love games which poorly attempt to disguise their hidden horror content as much as the next fat person, but since it’s already been reviewed copiously, I thought I’d offer instead a brief  musical analysis on what I felt effectively emphasized the narrative, visuals, or gameplay.

This commentary is, of course, intended for those who are familiar with the game. SPOILERS HO! Continue reading


“Sinner in the Hands of an Angry God,” or My Childhood Acc. to Psych 101

Towards the end of senior year in Psychology AP we were assigned a project which involved documenting our lives while assuming the school of thought of various developmental researchers. One section constituted eight page-long memoirs with some relevant comments about Kohlberg’s, Piaget’s, Erickson’s, and Marcia’s systems of cognitive progress. My analyses are by no means insightful as much as they are perfunctory, but perhaps you will find the beastly bugbear I was as a child either endearing or a foil to your own maturation. Continue reading

this banner belies the DEPRESSINGNESS.

another day another depressing essay

Ben’s a good Christian but a worthless conversationalist. I told him, “I wish I didn’t have to wake up in the morning,” and he bubbled with a false sort of understanding.

“Yeah,” Ben offered uselessly; “I hate having to get up early.”

“No,” I said. “No, you don’t get it, man. I mean I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.”

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Platformers For Platform-Haters (a Steam Review)

Although a friend of mine has assured me that, like birthday gifts, it is the thought of playing video games that counts, I am perpetually frustrated that for all my hours whittled away at trying the things I am not actually skilled at them. Well, yes, “skilled” enough to be reasonably trained to handle the controls and know how things work, so I could probably beat my mother, true. But if paired in a room with a collection of gaming aficionados I would undoubtedly end up last in the tournament, even demoted to water cooler boy/team manager, the spot on the middle school basketball team that exists because the coach felt too much pity to cut you.
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(Updated for July!) 3 Point and Clicks Getting Sequels This Summer

I make some dumb covered images when I'm forced to.Hi-ho! Plaster the brain here, bringing you two sweet recent point and click adventures with expected new chapters slated for Summer 2014!* What better way to spend the beach season than getting a sick tan from the dim light of your monitor? Your friends want to invite you to their lake house?  Tell them you’re busy clicking inventory items and trying to use them on everything help me I can’t play video games aaaa
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3 Horror Visual Novels! Chupi!

One of my favorite Friday night activities is sitting alone hunched in front of a monitor with rice-crust pizza and pretending to murder people. This is second only to pretending to date people under the same circumstances. Thankfully, Ren’Py designers understand my consumer need and offer us these two free titles for all your wild late night pleasures that came out wrong. Finally, being the coolest kid in the friend group isn’t even a contest.

(I’ll update this with more quality free horror VNs as I find them — consider it a master post)

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“He was a good dog,” say owners of late Spike

Among the onslaught of recent deaths in Desert Fox’s Bad Dream series was Spike the dog, beloved family pet of breed unknown. The cause is yet to be determined, though locals report sightings of a hooded figure wielding a scythe in the weeks before and after the incident.

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Sasori and OC-chan are BACK TOGETHER!

I haven’t updated in forever, so I hope you enjoy this play-by-play of the sensational romance, “Sasori Baby Daddy” by JadedBat; described only as “Sasori Baby Daddy Story” in the synopsis field. I’m billing the author because a cursory google search “sasori baby daddy” nets a frightening number of results, which I will have to confiscate later for… research purposes.

Yuri is no ordinary NEET — she’s a pregnant one, the fiancee of our favorite notorious S-ranked criminal puppeteer, Alice Margatroid Akasuna no Sasori. Find out what happens when they experience some of the ramifications of a pretty average pregnancy.

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